You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
