I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
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I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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