best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
