I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
