We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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