Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
