you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
