i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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