I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
