He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
