I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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