I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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