these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
