I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
