Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i now understand why vodka
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
