3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
