Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
