I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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