handjob tips. give me some.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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