i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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