I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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