He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize