Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
