I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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