and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
