It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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