Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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