At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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