exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize