Please, let me fuck your mom
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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