and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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