stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
