Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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