Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
