This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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