finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
