i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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