I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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