Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
