Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
