i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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