Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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