Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
