I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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