oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
