where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
