Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
