My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
