Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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