HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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