I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we have pet lesbian snakes
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
