Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
