$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize