Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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