listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
